The Unseen
Mad Prophets
Tag Archives: Tim Howard
Premier League Match Report: Chelsea 3 – 1 Everton like you’ve never seen
This first appeared on Surreal Football. Go there and read it again when you’re done here. Before we begin, let me just say: I know. I’m sorry. This weekend has been a difficult time for MS Paint match reporting. First, … Continue reading
Posted in Match Reports
Tagged afro, America, Andre Villas-Boas, Apostolos Vellios, AVB, blues, C.R.E.A.M., CFC, Chelsea, Daniel Sturridge, David Luiz, David Moyes, Democracy, Drogba, EFC, English Premier League, EPL, Everton, Fellaini, Frank Lampard, Freedom, hair, Harpo Marx, Ivanovic, Jack Rodwell, John Obi Mikel, John Terry, Juan Mata, Leighton Baines, Liberty, MS Paint, mustache, Phil Jagielka, Premier League, rabies, raccoons, Ramires, Raul Meireles, Royston Drenthe, Tim Howard, Toffees, Tony Hibbert, Villas-Boas
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The Merseyside Derby: Everton 0-2 Liverpool
This first appeared on Surreal Football. The English Premier League is full of Very Important Meaningful derbies, and the Merseyside Derby of Everton vs Liverpool is one of them. Personally I love a good derby. It takes dumb assholes and raises … Continue reading
Posted in Match Reports
Tagged Andy Carroll, Anfield, Charlie Adam, Craig Bellamy, David Moyes, Deadly Dirk, Derby, Derby Day, Dirk Kuyt, diving, EFC, English Premier League, EPL, Everton, fans, Gerrard, Goodison Park, Jack Rodwell, Kenny Dalglish, Killer Kuyt, LFC, Liverpool, Luis Suarez, Martin Atkinson, Merseyside, Merseyside Derby, not cool, Premier League, projectiles, Red card, Rodwell, Scousers, shitheads, Steven Gerrard, Suarez, Tim Howard, Toffees
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Best Gold Cup Anti-Moments
The Gold Cup ended over a week ago and Copa America is underway. On top of that, today’s the 4th of July: Independence Day! This means it’s finally time to revisit the charred landscape of sorrow that is my memory … Continue reading
Posted in Match Reports
Tagged 4th of July, Chicharito, Clint Dempsey, CONCACAF, Copa Oro, Cuba, Cuban Revolution, Everything is politics, family history, Fidel Castro, Giovani Dos Santos, Gold Cup, Independence Day, Javier Hernandez, Jozy Altidore, Juan Agudelo, Landon Donovan, Mexico, Tim Howard, US, USA, USMNT, Yenier Marquez, Yosniel Mesa
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Gold Cup Round-Up
Who will triumph in this contest for soccer supremacy of North and Central America, and the Carribean? USA or Mexico? Probably Mexico, right? I mean, come on. Anyway, these are the CONCACAF Gold Cup group stage games that I watched, … Continue reading
Posted in Match Reports
Tagged Borges, Canada, Chicharito, Clint Dempsey, CONCACAF, Costa Rica, Cuba, doomed, El Salvador, Giovani Dos Santos, Gold Cup, Juan Agudelo, Landon Donovan, Linares, lost causes, Mexico, Molina, noble defeats, Rafa Marquez, scorpion kick, Soccer, Tim Howard, USA, wild man, Zelaya
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The Vuvuzela Stylings of Toblerone Jones 